Tuesday, February 14, 2017

Being a princess wife.

I've had enough!!!! I have noticed this very disturbing trend in Christian blogs called Let's Beat Up the wife!!!




I am going on the record right here and right now by saying that I believe in the truth of God's word and that us women must obey God and all that entails so don't think I'm here to let us girls off the hook. But I am going to flip that coin over.


I see this weird thing going on in the Christian blogging circle where female bloggers have adopted this attitude that all marital problems are somehow on the wife's shoulders and I am absolutely baffled by this!!! This is so far from the truth!!! 


I watch these women just go on about how it's really our fault because we're not obeying enough, or we're not submissive enough, or we're not humble enough...blah blah blah blah blah.

STOP IT!!!

I fully believe in Titus 2 and that older women should teach younger women to love their husbands but God never told us to be so dern snotty about it. I absolutely cannot believe the pride and condescension so many of these articles are written with. I am not and do not have any intention of becoming a marriage blogger but I have been stewing over this for quite a while.

Here's a reality check for all you marriage bloggers out there...

Our husbands are responsible for their own sin...

Our husbands are responsible for bearing the fruits of the Spirit just like we are...

Our husbands are told to love us like Christ loves the Church and guess what? God didn't put a provision in there saying "But only if they earn it or if they're lovable."

God told our men to deal with us in an understanding way.

God told our husbands to honor us.

We are beloved daughters of the King of Kings and He wants our men to cherish us!!!

Ladies, I'm here to tell you that God loves you. I know that message is rarely conveyed anymore but He does. He loves us just as much as He loves our men but that truth seems to be lost lately.

I read some of these posts and I am so thankful that I'm already saved because after reading some of them, there's no way I would believe in grace, mercy, or the love of God. Honestly, after reading some of them, I wouldn't want anything to do with God because they give the false impression that God just doesn't particularly care very much for us gals. That's what has me so mad.

We have highlighted the obligations of women all the while we down play the sins of the male populace.

If any of you fellas have stumbled upon this post and made it this far, this is for you - God's word to you ISN'T OPTIONAL!!!! If you insist on continuously being a flat-out, control freak, misogynistic, jerk who wants to treat his wife like nothing more than the help and someone who has to jump when you say how high, God's not OK with that and since He loves His daughter's, He's not going to let you get away with it. Sorry to break it to you but God's not a fan of the good ole boys club.

Now ladies, this doesn't mean we don't have to obey the word too. And that bring's me to my next point...

Wives see to it that you respect your husbands...

This has to be the hardest command for me to follow and I know I'm not alone because our menfolk aren't always respectable. But just like God didn't tell our husband's to love us when we're lovable (seriously fellas, let that sink in), He also didn't tell us to respect them when they're respectable because let's face it, if that was the case, we probably wouldn't do it very often. Maybe that's just me...

So why on earth would we respect such an unrespectable husband? 

Well the answer has nothing to do with being a wife. It has everything to do with being a daughter though. I don't respect B because he deserves it. I do it because God told me to and because I trust in God's love for ME.

Respecting your husband is a sign of your trust in God.

When we respect our husband even when they're being jerktastic, we're not being door mats, we're trusting God to deal with our men.

We're trusting in God's love for us as His daughters.

And we're being Christians. Sometimes when I'm so mad at B that I want to stab him in the neck with a pork chop bone, I remember the grace I've been shown and then all that outrage just kind of dissipates because I remember that he's not just my husband, he's also my brother in Christ. And part of my point here is that God doesn't favor one child over the other, girl or boy. Jesus died for the boys too.

God loves us all equally and uniquely and He really doesn't like it when His children hurt one another. 

We really need to get back to the basics I think. Stop picking out all the marriage passages and just get back to the basics of the 13th chapter of  1st Corinthians. Our call as Christians is to constantly, through the renewing of our minds, become more like Jesus. This goes for husbands, wives, moms, dads, sons, daughters, mammaws, pappaws...It goes for all of us. If you really want to be a good Christian spouse, parent, friend, anything...get back to the basics!!


These basics should also be applied when we blog as well. Seriously y'all., Satan and the world beats us up enough...do we really need to beat each other down all the time too? I get that you're just trying spread biblical truth but making women feel devalued is the enemy's job, not ours.

So I'll close with this...Ladies, don't you for one minute think God loves your man more than He loves you. You are one of His cherished princesses. And fellas, you need to remember that. He doesn't value his princes over his princesses. But ladies, He does loves his princes too and He wants us to be sweet to them so they see Him in us. 

And no matter who you are, please remember that you're so loved. So, so loved.

Love Always,
Heather



4 comments:

  1. I think your arugement is balanced and fair. I've not only stumbled on this idea in the blog world but in my own head. it does feel like so much fall on our heads sometimes, there HAS to be balance - otherwise patriarchal societies can get weird and destructive (as can matriarchal societies) - we have to be a Jesus-archal society where there is love love love - respect grace and understanding - I get where so many women bloggers are probably coming from - they are railing against the feminist culture - I am too! I hate the uber feminist - standing-ovation-for-your-abortion-women-are-better-than-men society we currently live in - but we can't hightail it to the other side either. We have to do the razor's edge dance...and it sucks because it's the hardest place to be...the road is narrow my friend...and it's easy to fall off the fence

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  2. I don't know. Maybe I'm reading the wrong blogs, but I think most extreme conservative bloggers are approaching things from the perspective that the wife shouldn't try to be her husband's personal Holy Spirit. So when your target audience is the wives and you don't want to encourage them to overstep bounds, what does that leave you write on?

    Now don't get me wrong - it does drive me crazy. There are some of them that take after the teaching of some extreme conservatives that I would never recommend. However, I don't think the majority of these posts are trying to pin all the blame on the wives. I think they just fail to give practical communication tips.

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    1. Not all of them but I've seen a few and I know what it's like to wonder if God really cares about us women and women need to know that he does. I think that when it comes to blogging about that, marriage bloggers have a responsibility to make sure they check their tone and to make sure they're not being accusers. They also have the responsibility of using the whole bible and not just the main verses that speak to women. I'm just tired of seeing women hurt for this when they don't have to. There's women out there that suffer abuse silently because they honestly believe God is OK with it!!!!

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